Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
