I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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