Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
