im having a threesome with these popsicles
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
