says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
