this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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