i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
