I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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