Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think people are normalizing furries
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
