trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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