I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
