i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
