It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
