Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
