smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
