Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
