Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
