I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My vagina is officially offended.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
