I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
