Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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