Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
