If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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