I just gift wrapped bread.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
