i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
