South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
