Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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