Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
