i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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