When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
