dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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