my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
