I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
