bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
