Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
