He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
