He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
