So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
