just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
