Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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