HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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