You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
