I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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