Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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