Jerry, you need to find god
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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