Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
