Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
