Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
