Don't you send me to vm
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
