I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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