I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
