OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
