i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
