Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
